What we are looking for in your presentations.

1. Description and use of interesting words. (Use of quality adjectives and adverbs)

2. Thoughts and feelings of the characters in the voiceovers.

3. Good quality sentences with a variety of simple, compound and complex. Check out the conjunctions list

4. A variety of sentence beginnings. Remember Who, What, Where, When, How.

Google Docs Version

In a dark room, an old man sat alone and silent thinking and reminiscing. The man's cold nimble fingers silently touched the keys and then he began to play. Music filled the air and suddenly the room didn't seem so dark anymore and the music seemed to take him away.

As he was playing he felt a mysterious feeling as if someone was watching him and then as if by magic a transparent, ghostly hand rested on the keys. Te man looked up and saw his lovely dead wife sitting next to him. They played together for a while but then his wife suddenly stopped and leaned over to kiss him, he wanted that moment to last forever but he knew it couldn't and when the man looked over to her she was already disappearing so he let her go.

The man continued to play and then suddenly his mind flew back to the time that he was in the war.

He remembered when him and his brother were running and they hid behind a wall. Suddenly his brotherturned to shoot and he got shot in the arm. The man held his brother until he was dead and then he buried him as best he could.

The he switched to the time when he was a little boy and it was his birthday. He was give a beautiful white box with a bright blue bow. he could remember it like it was yesterday. In the box was a brand new polished hobby horse and he rode around on it everywhere.

SUddenly the man came out of his memories just in time to see his grandson riding towards him on that same old hobby horse.

The grandson climbed up on to the piano and began to play.

At the end of the song they shared a special look and the man smiled as the grandson rode off on his old beloved hobby horse.

By Bryony - June 2008

An old man is sitting in silence playing a beautiful tune on the piano. The music is mixed with emotions and fills the air with melody. The music brings happy memories and sad memories.The first memory that comes to mind is a hppy one, it's of his wife.

His wife places her hand on his and plays music with the other hand then starts to join in. She goes to kiss him but she soon fades away. That kiss he shall remember for as long as he lives, then he looks up to the sky, his eyes widen and he smiles.

But his next memory isn't a happy one. It's a sad one. He remembers when he was in the war with his mate Shaun. They both were both behind a broken wall with only a tiny bit left of it. The old man pulls something out of his pocket and gives the nod to go. Shaun turns to fire but got shot in the shoulder. The old man runs up to him and picks him up but he's too late, Shaun's gone. The old man is horrified and sad he'll never see him again.

His final memory is a happy one. It's of his childhood. He gets a present. He lifts the blue cross lid and picks up a hobby horse. He feels so grateful and starts galloping around the piano.

Suddenly the boy turns into modern clothes, he puts down his horse and jumps up on the seat and joins in with one high key. He palys and smiles at the old man, his grandad.

 

Annie-Mae - June 2008

 

 

Creating Captions and Overdubs in Photostory